October 3, 2014
I’ve decided to write something about the general
populace in terms of relationships. These past few weeks have been a roller
coaster ride not for me since I was just a mere spectator but for my friends.
When they tell me about their current situations it felt like a movie was
unfolding right in front of me. Some become fighters trying to save what was
left of their relationship, some felt it was time to give up the fight some
were fine staying along the sidelines and some are enjoying the love they've
been fighting for a long time. People used to tell me that lessons are gained
through one’s own experiences but there’s another truth they forgot to tell me,
one learns through another’s experiences too.
In the verge of losing something so important-love,
people who the world do not know had the strength to tamper their pride away
and fight the relationship battle at the expense of their ego, start to emerge
and show themselves. These are the people who give it all even if it means
losing half of the half of themselves and giving it to the person they love.
People may see them as crazy and selfless bordering foolish for not thinking
about themselves too. But the thing is, I think they are worth commending. Why?
How many people could pull off their ego masks and run towards what hurt them
deeply? It’s like being fractured severely on a skateboard but you insist to
try it again even though you know it’s going to hurt just because you trust the
world enough to know that it’s going to be worth it in the end. To go on with a
bruised ego is hard enough, but to put trust on something or someone who’ve
caused damage, well that’s invaluable strength. I’m not saying that you
stay in a relationship that damages you, no, what I’m saying is you think
deeply about it. Will it be worth it in the end? If it is, then shake off the
ego and go for it but if you feel like it’s taking not only half of the half of
you but everything you’ve kept for yourself, well then I guess it’s time to go.
Courage means letting go of something that means so
much in exchange of something that means everything to you. It’s difficult to
choose between two things so dear especially if it involves the person you
truly love and yourself. In a spectator’s point of view, it’s easy to tell you
to choose yourself. It’s one of the most prominent clichés in relationships:
“love yourself first before you could love another” but the truth is, when the
love of your life comes knocking on your door, it’s hard to separate the love
for yourself from the love you feel towards the other. But we have to
understand that relationships don't just involve love, they're hard work too but
if work outdoes love and you become more of a warrior than a lover, you’ll wake
up one day then you’ll realize, it’s time to move forward. Walking away takes
indomitable courage and strength too.
When people have been through a lot, they become more
cautious of the next step they take. They’ve learned enough not to take the
easy way out and hurt themselves twice as much in the process. They content
themselves in staying along the sidelines hoping one day they’ll find the
collision they need to get back on track. People may see them as playing too
safe but the real score is, these are the people who know most about loving and
losing. They were on the battlefield too but wise enough to take a break and
let things unfold in their right time. They’ve lost something, maybe everything
at some point, trust me but they refuse to love again not because they’re
scared and coward but because they’re trying not to commit the same mistake,
they’ll love again…maybe until they see who’s worth the fight again.
Love has been something that most of us have been
yearning for. There are those people who are filled with elation knowing they
are with the person they love. They know the value of what they have not because
it was given to them immediately but because they know for a fact they’ve
worked hard together to have that kind of relationship. Successful relationships
do not happen overnight, it takes time to build a foundation strong enough for
the both of you. Relationships aren’t always about cuddles and roses; it’s
about sticking together through thick and thin, overcoming the trials of time
and all odds. It’s about putting up with each other’s mood swings and accepting
faults and weaknesses. People say, it’s difficult to move on and be alone, yes
it is, but sometimes it’s also difficult to maintain a long and lasting
relationship but either way, it’ll be worth the journey after all.
Relationships are a pool of confusion, gratification,
love and pain. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose but there’s always something
we take with us. When we win, we’re rewarded with the love of our lives, a
promise of a future, when we lose, we’re rewarded with the opportunity to start
and try to win again and maybe pick some other valuable things along the way.
We all have different roads to take, we may know all
the facts about the situation but no one could ever explain how the other
person feels truthfully even if they say they’ve been through the same. As what
Paulo Coelho said, “We can never judge the lives of others because each person
knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are
on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path”.
