Dear Marshy,
I promised to keep your name but you know who you are and
perhaps, this letter may be for those
who have had their hearts broken too.
So you called me in the middle of the night crying; you told
me you left him because you’re tired of an unhealthy relationship. You blame
yourself for not being good enough but let me start reminding you of who you
really are.
I would not tell you how strong you are and all those crappy
things that people usually say to make you feel better because you won’t. I
will tell you straight through writing all your heart’s undiscovered yearnings.
You deserve someone
who won’t let you sleep feeling unwanted, unappreciated and unloved. Someday,
you will be with someone who would make sure you go to sleep smiling because
you’re ultimately sure that when you wake up, someone still loves you just as
much as he did last night.
You will find someone who would call you not because he
needs something from you but because he needs to know how your day was. You don’t
deserve someone who would not listen to you rambling about how hurt you were
when you found out your friend was lying to you or maybe when you found out
that your perfume was out of stock. You deserve someone who would listen to the
most trivial parts of your life and would actually be interested in them too.
You cry after finishing a good romance novel because you
envy the female protagonist because she is loved and cared for. Two things you
told me you haven’t genuinely felt these past few years. You feel bad and low
that you couldn’t experience the kind of love found in books or movies. You spent
all those years hoping that maybe someday, he’ll realize your worth and start
caring and loving you the way you wanted to be cared for and loved. Newsflash,
he won’t.
Now, let me tell you this. You do not deserve those feelings
roaming around you. When you find the right one, you will smile after reading a
romance novel because finally, your life is as beautiful as your books.
You do not deserve someone who tells you all the things you
need to do to make him happy… even if it means losing the real you. You deserve
someone who loves to see you happy; someone who makes it his life statement to
make you happy. I pray that one day, you will find someone who smiles with the
sight of you smiling back.
You told me about the very first time he held your hand in
public. You were so happy, and I asked you why?, you told me he doesn’t
regularly hold your hand or even place his arms around your shoulder in public.
You were about to cry that time. Only now did I understand, it was because all
this time, you wanted him to hold your hand… and he only did, once.
Look forward to the day that God would show you the person
who would hold your hand and tell you he wouldn’t let you go and would protect
you from the things that could hurt you, things that could make you cry, and
things that could destroy your happiness.
Dearest Marshy, you need to choose your battles and staying in
a relationship that doesn’t make you strong or doesn’t make you better would
never make you a warrior. This is not the battle worth fighting for. You’ve
given up half of who you really are to give way for the person he wants you to
be but I’ll tell you this, I know you will find someone who would embrace your
whole being and knowing that you are just perfect, no need for rectifications, transformations,
revisions.
To lose someone who has been a part of you is not easy, it
never was but believe me when I say you have to let go because burning the
bridge is the only path towards finding yourself once again. You will find yourself and it will be an amazing journey, more so, it will be a fulfilling
destination.
Once you’ve regained the love for yourself, you will fall in
love again. But don’t worry, you will eventually fall in love with the right
person because by then, you have learned to love yourself.
Love,
LRG
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