August 23: Why Not Being in a Relationship is Also Fun

August 23, 2014

A lot of people are afraid of being single. They keep on holding on to a wrong relationship just because they don’t want to be alone and lonely. I’d be brave enough to say that they don’t want to be labeled as “single”. I’ve been in that batch too. I kept holding on to a wrong person just because, I thought life would be gloomier without a love life. There won’t be sweet messages, dates, hugs, kisses and all those stuff included once you’re in a relationship. I’ve once dreaded the single boat but once life gave me no choice, I jumped to that boat and here I am.

At first, it was tough to handle. People looked at me with different speculations why I turned out to be single after years of being in a relationship. Some even thought I’d be grabbing the first guy to show interest just to finally move on. I don’t blame them, in this generation, it’s not impossible. But for the record, I’m not that type. I somehow got the hang of being “just with me” to the point where I could say, I don’t think I’m ready for another relationship… not yet at least.

Why not being in a relationship is fun

No stressful arguments- oh dear, I don’t miss the small painful needles poking through my heart when we argue or have petty fights that last days and hours. I’m better without these. I’m more carefree. I don’t have to decide every now and then if I’d still hold on and fight for the relationship or just walk away. It’s difficult arriving at this crossroad.

No messy break ups (or the threat of break ups)- oh goody! Being single means no one’s going to break up with you and you won’t have the gruesome responsibility of saying “it’s not you, it’s me”. How fun could that be? Being in a relationship is like walking on egg shells. Whether you like it or not, there’s that extra caution with everything you do and with every word you say. It’s like you always have to say the right words so as not to offend your partner and prevent an impending break up (while writing this, I’m like… yes, this is nice. You don’t have to experience this for now. Cool!)  

No contradicting emotions that make you crazy- being in a relationship messes up your emotions big time. You’re mad at your partner but you won’t show it because you’d like him to take the first step of discovering what’s the matter with you and once he ignores you (frankly because he thinks you’re just having your period) you don’t know what to feel, would you be hurt? Angry? or throw something at him, and see if he finally gets a clue… well as it always ends, he still doesn’t then you end up feeling crazy.

Time management won’t be so stressful- working eight hours a day (or more), I don’t think this is ideal to make a relationship work. It would be like being in a long distance relationship but you’re merely kilometers apart. During my rest days, I get to sleep the whole day and rest instead of going out on dates. To say the least, it’s tiring to flatten the humps of roads and pedestrian lanes with our feet. In other words, it’s tiring to walk and walk thinking where to go to then you end up eating at Mcdonalds and staying there for an hour or two thinking, where next?

You get to meet other people- yup, this is surely one of the perks of being single. I don’t have to wonder whether my partner would get hurt or mad with me talking and laughing with other guys. I didn’t have a lot of guy friends before for relationship etiquette reasons but when I became single and finally had guy friends to talk to… let me reiterate that, guy friends- as in platonic in every sense- it’s fun. You get to have a glimpse of what’s going on in a guy’s brain and trust me, they’ve got so much in there. I’ve learned a lot… well, practical things.

You don’t have to knock your brains out thinking of what gift to give on your daysary, weeksary, monthsary or anniversary- it’s so hard to think about something sweet and memorable. Yes, it’s nice at first, there are so many ideas of presents and the like but as years go by, sweet gifts get old. The last thing you know, you’d just purchase anything you see in the department store and make yourself believe “it’s the thought that counts”.

I am not saying that being in a relationship is not fun. Of course it is, the butterflies in your stomach, romantic dates (unless they include dates described above…uhm, no.), big hugs, sweet kisses, surprises, cute text messages, late night phone calls, they are all fun and amazing. What I’m saying is, being single isn’t as bad as it looks like. When you’re single, you get to enjoy your own company, you’d know how fun of a person you really are. As it has been said, being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Alone time makes you discover who you really are and once you know yourself more, you’d know the type of person who could be your perfect match.